What
are hedges? Hedges are boundaries. In Mark 12:1 Jesus said, “A man planted a
vineyard and set a hedge around it.” First, the man planted a vineyard. Think
of your marriage
as a vineyard. You “planted” it the day you said, “I do”. Next, the man in the
parable placed a hedge around his vineyard. Why? Several reasons: to protect
it from intrusion by animals and thieves; to keep his vines inside his
vineyard; and to separate his territory from his neighbors.
A hedge makes the statement, “Private Property, No Trespassing.” The symbolic hedges around our marriages serve the same purposes. As a married couple, your goal as co-owners of your vineyard, is to keep the good things in—and the bad things out. These HEDGES consist of simple principles that will protect your marriage from external invaders and internal discontent. They are all action words:
Hearing: Listening and speaking with patience and understanding;
Encouraging: Helping each other in thought, word, and deed;
Dating: Keeping it fresh and fun. Build a life that celebrates marriage;
Guarding: Agreeing on your boundaries—and enforcing them;
Educating: Becoming an expert on your mate;
Satisfying: Meeting each others needs.
Planting the Hedges:
Gardeners know that maintaining a hedge is an ongoing task. But first, you’ve got to plant the hedge. And any gardener will tell you that when planting something, one of the most important considerations is the condition of the soil. Assuming that Christ is the soil of your marriage, all the hedges, in order to grow to maturity, must be planted in Him. If you’re married to a non-Christian, your hedges and your hearts may be divided, creating conflict about the location of boundaries for your marriage as well as large gaps in those boundaries. You’ll need to be willing to find creative ways to maintain your Christian “soil” without discounting your mate’s needs.
A hedge makes the statement, “Private Property, No Trespassing.” The symbolic hedges around our marriages serve the same purposes. As a married couple, your goal as co-owners of your vineyard, is to keep the good things in—and the bad things out. These HEDGES consist of simple principles that will protect your marriage from external invaders and internal discontent. They are all action words:
Hearing: Listening and speaking with patience and understanding;
Encouraging: Helping each other in thought, word, and deed;
Dating: Keeping it fresh and fun. Build a life that celebrates marriage;
Guarding: Agreeing on your boundaries—and enforcing them;
Educating: Becoming an expert on your mate;
Satisfying: Meeting each others needs.
Planting the Hedges:
Gardeners know that maintaining a hedge is an ongoing task. But first, you’ve got to plant the hedge. And any gardener will tell you that when planting something, one of the most important considerations is the condition of the soil. Assuming that Christ is the soil of your marriage, all the hedges, in order to grow to maturity, must be planted in Him. If you’re married to a non-Christian, your hedges and your hearts may be divided, creating conflict about the location of boundaries for your marriage as well as large gaps in those boundaries. You’ll need to be willing to find creative ways to maintain your Christian “soil” without discounting your mate’s needs.
Dafe
Smith Snr
Relationship
Coach
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