I DO – for the right reasons

I remember now, I was twenty-five and had the emotional rush of a blooming woman. I needed love; I needed a man to make me feel like a woman. Then I remembered that because of my Christian background, I couldn’t just have sex, it had to be in marriage.

Then I went on a male hunt having my picture in mind, tall, dark, handsome and sturdy. Ah! He should know a little bit of God. I set out and met the good, bad and ugly, till I met my prince charming, or so I thought.

It seemed like he was shot out of my imagination, a dream come true and when he said “hello”, I could have sworn that I died and came back to life.

This was my story. Now months after saying “I do”, I find that we always have one argument after another and she sighs, he batters me.

Tony, my husband, was a man in his mid-thirties, who had done this and that and was eager to get married to a good Christian girl, which I appeared to be.

He was so eager to get married because he felt almost all his friends had beat him to it (marriage with kids) and I was eager due to my uncontrolled emotional rush and so we said “I do”, ignoring minute details on companionship, future aspirations e.t.c.

Tony has an entirely different take on life; the career I dreamed of pursing could not start because he wants me to take care of the house like the wives of his friends.

(Sighs) Now I realize that I never really needed Tony or anyone to complete me, because in Christ, I am complete. Instead of given heed to my lustful desire, I should have tamed it and sought God’s face to make me whole and in due time bring the best my way.

We are often eager to tie the knot for diverse reasons except for the fulfillment of purpose. The man or woman you get married to should be able to complement you i.e. assist God’s purpose for your life. That’s the essence of companionship. And companion-ship, is the essence of marriage.

Wish I knew this then, but can’t blame Tony. How was he supposed to assist me achieve a purpose that I seldom knew or communicated? I wanted badly to satisfy my desires in marriage, thinking that was all marriage was about. Only after I had satisfied that desire did I begin to ask “is this all?” Only after that did I begin to search out what I should be doing. Marriage is not a destination as most think, its part of a process.

I know now you think I’m was too dumb and full of regrets but these things happen everyday because we fail to give attention to what matters more- purpose. Isn’t it heart breaking that people go through life without knowing why they were created because they didn’t ask?

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Matt.7:7-8

No one can dream on your behalf, you have to discover purpose and begin to walk in it. Then, would you attract your kind who would assist you in its fulfillment.

People say “I do” for different reasons, from financial security, peer pressure, social status boost to love. Whatever the reason, make sure that he/she knows your purpose and can assist it.

There’s a popular scripture which we quote with precision but very few, think on it. Matt.6:33(NKJV) “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you”. All is inclusive of everything and exclusive of nothing. Hence, a good marriage is in the package so fret not, even when it seems like time is not on your side. Fret not, even when it seems like almost all your childhood friends are married with kids. Fret not, no matter what the case is, for God cannot lie and He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him.

Though it seems like I’m in a bind, but I made a vow before God and men to Tony; to love him and stand by him no matter what, and I intend to keep it. We are not of the world with an option of divorce. With God on my side, I believe it’d turn out well.

“I do”, is a solemn vow before God and witnesses. Master your emotions/feelings, it is yours to tame and not the other way round. Say “I do”, for the right reasons.

Charlesevagreen