I DO – for the right reasons

I remember now, I was twenty-five and had the emotional rush of a blooming woman. I needed love; I needed a man to make me feel like a woman. Then I remembered that because of my Christian background, I couldn’t just have sex, it had to be in marriage.

Then I went on a male hunt having my picture in mind, tall, dark, handsome and sturdy. Ah! He should know a little bit of God. I set out and met the good, bad and ugly, till I met my prince charming, or so I thought.

It seemed like he was shot out of my imagination, a dream come true and when he said “hello”, I could have sworn that I died and came back to life.

This was my story. Now months after saying “I do”, I find that we always have one argument after another and she sighs, he batters me.

Tony, my husband, was a man in his mid-thirties, who had done this and that and was eager to get married to a good Christian girl, which I appeared to be.

He was so eager to get married because he felt almost all his friends had beat him to it (marriage with kids) and I was eager due to my uncontrolled emotional rush and so we said “I do”, ignoring minute details on companionship, future aspirations e.t.c.

Tony has an entirely different take on life; the career I dreamed of pursing could not start because he wants me to take care of the house like the wives of his friends.

(Sighs) Now I realize that I never really needed Tony or anyone to complete me, because in Christ, I am complete. Instead of given heed to my lustful desire, I should have tamed it and sought God’s face to make me whole and in due time bring the best my way.

We are often eager to tie the knot for diverse reasons except for the fulfillment of purpose. The man or woman you get married to should be able to complement you i.e. assist God’s purpose for your life. That’s the essence of companionship. And companion-ship, is the essence of marriage.

Wish I knew this then, but can’t blame Tony. How was he supposed to assist me achieve a purpose that I seldom knew or communicated? I wanted badly to satisfy my desires in marriage, thinking that was all marriage was about. Only after I had satisfied that desire did I begin to ask “is this all?” Only after that did I begin to search out what I should be doing. Marriage is not a destination as most think, its part of a process.

I know now you think I’m was too dumb and full of regrets but these things happen everyday because we fail to give attention to what matters more- purpose. Isn’t it heart breaking that people go through life without knowing why they were created because they didn’t ask?

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Matt.7:7-8

No one can dream on your behalf, you have to discover purpose and begin to walk in it. Then, would you attract your kind who would assist you in its fulfillment.

People say “I do” for different reasons, from financial security, peer pressure, social status boost to love. Whatever the reason, make sure that he/she knows your purpose and can assist it.

There’s a popular scripture which we quote with precision but very few, think on it. Matt.6:33(NKJV) “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you”. All is inclusive of everything and exclusive of nothing. Hence, a good marriage is in the package so fret not, even when it seems like time is not on your side. Fret not, even when it seems like almost all your childhood friends are married with kids. Fret not, no matter what the case is, for God cannot lie and He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him.

Though it seems like I’m in a bind, but I made a vow before God and men to Tony; to love him and stand by him no matter what, and I intend to keep it. We are not of the world with an option of divorce. With God on my side, I believe it’d turn out well.

“I do”, is a solemn vow before God and witnesses. Master your emotions/feelings, it is yours to tame and not the other way round. Say “I do”, for the right reasons.

Charlesevagreen

Guard Your Marriage with Affair-Proof Hedges 2

Safely Inside The Hedges

When I talk with people who are having relationship troubles, one of them usually says, “I’m bored—our relationship isn’t very exciting anymore. All we ever do is talk about the different challenges we are having (bills) and watch TV.  And you’ll hear the other party say “I know everything my spouse is going to say before he [or she] says it. We’re in a deep, predictable rut. I need some excitement!”

Can you guess where they go to get their thrills? Yep, outside the hedges! That’s why it’s important to have some outside interests to talk about. Have your own “well” of experience to draw from. Keep your relationship watered with new information—both spiritual insights and unique, interesting activities.

A relationship that is well watered will have deep roots and will withstand the storms of life. If your relationship is in a drought, however, and its roots are weak and shallow, then the wind and erosion (life’s problems) will damage and eventually destroy your marriage.  So keep your hearts safely inside your strong, healthy hedges. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do." Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

 Dafe Smith Snr

Relationship Coach

OUR DAILY BREAD: CAPE TRIBULATION

Cape Tribulation

April 16, 2013 — by Dennis Fisher

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Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn

Read: James 1:1-8

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. —James 1:2-3

Bible in a Year:
1 Samuel 30-31; Luke 13:23-35

On June 10, 1770, British navigator James Cook’s ship hit a reef off the northeast coast of Australia. He sailed the ship out into deeper water only to hit the reef again, and this time the collision almost sank the ship. This experience moved Cook to write in the ship’s log: “The north point [was named] Cape Tribulation because here began all our troubles.”
Many of us have experienced a trial that has seemed to trigger a string of other trials. The loss of a job, the death of a loved one, an unwanted divorce, or a decline in health could all be part of the list.
Even though a crisis may seem to be our “Cape Tribulation,” God is still sovereign and He most certainly is in control. It is His purpose to use tribulation to build resilience into us. James writes: “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:2-3). The word translated “patience” means to have staying power or the ability to endure.
In the midst of your life-changing trial, remember that God is still at work. He wants to use your “Cape Tribulation” experience to build your character. He has promised His grace to see you through (2 Cor. 12:9).

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
—Annie Johnson Flint. © Renewal 1969. Lillenas Publishing

Faith grows best in the winter of trial. —Rutherford

 

 

http://odb.org/

 

(for previous editions, please visit our devotional page.. Stay Blessed!!)

THE WORD FOR TODAY: ROOTS AND WINGS (4)

ROOTS AND WINGS (4)

APRIL 16, 2013

‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother...’

Genesis 2:24
You can’t always prevent your child from getting hurt. ‘…In this world you will have trouble…’ (John 16:33 NIV). Either they’ll get hurt and learn to deal with reality, or suffocate in your cocoon, never becoming mature—a hurt much sadder and much more painful and debilitating. What’s involved in giving your child wings? 1) Realise that without autonomy they’ll never become healthy adults. This involves learning things like clear thinking, being responsible for their own decisions, learning from bad choices how to make better ones, being free to make mistakes and pay the price of learning, and experiencing what it means to grow up. 2) Don’t treat their need for autonomy as evidence you’re failing as a parent. Indeed, if they fail to distance, you should question your parenting style! Making them independent is biblical and effective parenting. 3) Don’t mistake their distancing as a rejection of you. It’s not abandonment of you, it’s advancement for them. It’s not proof of ingratitude or selfishness and rebellion; it’s their real-world opportunity to demonstrate your success as a parent. When they don’t want to attend Uncle Bert’s family reunion, don’t tighten your grip to ‘save the family from disintegrating.’ The family is meant to disengage, like cells splitting off and multiplying. The Bible says we are to ‘…Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth’ (Genesis 9:1 NIV). They can’t stay in the nest and fulfil their destiny. Release them, and then get a life of your own! That’s your responsibility—not endless parenting. Let out the rope, trust God, and they’ll be back to see their ‘very cool’ parents.

http://www.ucb.co.uk/word-for-today.html

(for previous editions, please visit our devotional page) 

MANIFEST: FREE MICRO SOFT & CISCO CERT.

In a few hours the race towards academic excellence commences at the Agape hall of Victory Christian Church, Lagos as the youth ministry presents "MANIFEST"- an academic and prayer conference for youths and students in preparation for a glorious future.

This second edition of the program promises to be more power packed than the maiden edition as it also has in the offering amongst others, free Micro soft and CISCO certification for the first fifty (50) participants, in partnership with Noble Image Leadership Institute. The event kicks off today April 13, 2013 at 12noon. The venue is Agape Hall, Victory Christian Church, Abule- Oshun, Opposite Int'l Trade fair Complex, Lagos

Take advantage of this program to fortify yourself in preparedness of a great and glorious future.
See you at the top!!

LTK (Lets Talk Kids): Understanding Our Kids Behavior At Each Stage

This section traces the general cause of moral and social development that children undergo in their preschool years. Knowing what children are like at different development levels will help us understand that some of the problems are part of normal growth. Progress will also be uneven – within the same developmental stage. At times your child will be co-operative, expansive and socially secure whereas there will be times when he is rebellious, insecure and emotionally off balance. All this, is a natural part of his journey towards self-control.

Birth to 18 Months

• For the first weeks of his life, the baby is busy trying to gain grip on his body and environment and he is not ready to take lessons in behavior. But remember that foundations are laid at this stage, through all the love, care, hugs and kisses that you bestow on him. As your kid grows secure in this loving attachment, he learns to trust his parents and to seek their approval, and this will facilitate teaching good behavior at later stages.
• By the time the baby is two months old, he will respond back by showing smiles, gestures and sounds, in return to his parent’s voices, faces and hugs.
• In these ways, the baby is beginning to develop two crucial social abilities: imitation and reciprocity.
• Most of the positive social behaviors a child learns in the early years – such as sharing, polite manners and taking turns are developed through Imitation.
• Reciprocity – treating others as you would have them treat you, is the essence of Social Adjustment.
• As he grows, a baby gets increasingly better at deriving information from his parent’s faces and the faces of others. A look of pleasure signifies “proceed” to him; one of anger says “stop”.
• By six to nine months, babies come to understand the basic meaning of “no”. But if your kid is engaged in interesting activity like emptying flour in the kitchen, a loud “NO!” may actually intensify the activity underway. In such a situation, the best course of action is to remove the baby from whatever he’s doing; by moving either him or the object of interest. Distraction is the key here. We need to understand that reaction shown by the baby is a natural physical response to extra excitement caused by your outburst.
• Walking leads to a new period of independence, exploration and assertiveness and bouts of frustration when the child finds he cannot go to everywhere and have everything he wants.
• From this frustration springs signs of aggression, often around 16-18 months. Parents are shocked to see their kids throwing objects. While such behavior is perfectly natural, parents need to resolve to stay in control and re-direct their toddler towards more appropriate behavior, by diverting their attention to some other interesting activity.

18 months – Three years                

• The youngster in the early phases of this growth period begins to make distinction between “yours” and “mine”, to claim “mine” and resist sharing.
• At the same time “No” becomes the most common word in a two-year old’s vocabulary: “No Dinner”, “No Bath”, “No Brushing”.
• All this resistance and testing is part of child’s puling away from his parents and becoming his own individual. Parents must respect their youngster’s developing independence, while at the same time placing limits on behavior and encouraging cooperation.
• Impulse control is weak during this period. A two-year old can understand that he should not pull another child’s hair or clothes because it hurts. But this awareness doesn’t imply he will always do so. The child still lacks adequate inner controls; this is why tantrums and inner aggression appear from time to time.
• Even though children in this period are usually more independent and rebellious but still they have a growing capacity for cooperation and concern for the feelings of others. On occasions you can see a toddler expressing sympathy to crying baby or an adult in distress.
• Parents should take care not to get so caught up in the struggles of discipline that they will fail to elicit, notice and reinforce these first stirrings of empathy in their child. This is another important prerequisite to the social maturity of the child.

Three to Four Years

• At three years, two year old who were struggling to be independent now change to joiner and more willing to co-operate.
• A child’s mental development to this point has helped him to build ideas of an ordered, predictable world, and get uncomfortable if someone tries to change the routine.
• Three-year olds obey rules more or less by rote and even take pleasure and pride in following them – with exception of course.
• In general three-year olds are more cooperative and easier to manage and to reason with. Reason for such change is due to language development and advances in comprehension; as a result your kid can understand your explanation of rights and wrongs and is more responsive to spoken word.
• Growth in language skills also enables the child of three to begin to internalize his parent’s admonitions from time to time to say “no” to himself. At this stage he’s becoming adept to putting social behaviors into “good” and “bad” categories.
• Three-year-old’s desire to please makes this a good time for developing habits of helping around the house and for teaching simple table manners and other courtesies.
• At this stage, imitation is more important than ever as a source of moral learning: another important reason for you and your youngster to do things around house together. The three years-old that helps his father in cleaning the closet or car or his mother in cleaning or dusting is not only learning specific skills, but he is developing his identification with his parents and his receptivity to their values.
• The child this age may get very frustrated and lose control when he has to wait for something or has difficulty accomplishing a task he’s attempting, like building a tower of blocks. At this stage they need appreciation from parents and a little understanding and patience from you.
• He may still throw temper tantrums although, he will probably come out of them sooner than he did at two.

Principles to be followed for Effective Discipline

• Every child is different, every family is different, each circumstance is different – therefore there are many different approaches to discipline. But there are universal rules of behavior that apply to everyone, every time. Some of which are;
• Withholding parental love is not an acceptable method of discipline. It threatens a child’s self-esteem and sets the stage for variety of problems later. It is important to let children know that even when their behavior is not lovable, they are still loved.
• Discipline constructively: Use simple words and voice that is authoritative but not bossy. Try to say “Please do this”, more often than “Don’t do that”.
• Discipline Consistently: Do not let the child get away with a behavioral lapse one time and then punish him the next time. It will only confuse him and rules become meaningless. If you fail to be consistent, you’ll lose your credibility. When you do make exception, explain why.
• Explain why rules must be followed: Always try to explain the rationale behind your decision and rules. With reasons explained, the child is in better position to obey and absorb the behavior, understanding the consequences of it.
• Toddlers have limited memories. You can’t expect them to learn a lesson first time it’s taught, and you can expect them to repeat an undesirable action over and over again. Be patient, and be prepared to repeat the same message, before it sinks in.
• Monitor the results of your discipline efforts: Whatever technique you choose to use with your child, always observe his reactions closely. Make sure your methods are bringing intended results.
• Offer praise and encouragement when your child responds positively to your discipline: Nothing works as well as approval, and your child will be eager to show you how he can follow rules once he has obtained your blessing. This will also help in building your child’s self-confidence.
• Correction is much more effective when it takes place face to face rather than call from the other side of the room.

Ihuoma Dafe

Child Advocate & Consultant

for more educative articles on Child care, please visit our LTK Column

OUR DAILY BREAD

Guard Your Brand

April 8, 2013 — by Julie Ackerman Link

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Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn

Read: Colossians 3:1-14

Above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. —Colossians 3:14

Bible in a Year:
1 Samuel 10-12; Luke 9:37-62

A popular clothing retailer requires that its sales clerks dress like the models in the store windows who advertise its clothes. This practice is referred to as “guarding their brand.” The idea behind it is that shoppers will be more likely to purchase clothes because they will want to look like the people they see wearing them.
In a consumer-oriented culture, it’s easy to be seduced into thinking that we can “buy” acceptance by wearing the things that beautiful people wear. Retailers would have us believe that looking good will make us desirable.
Sometimes we even convince ourselves that we can win followers for God by making ourselves attractive to the world. But the Bible is clear about what’s really important to God. He wants us to look like Jesus in our character. In a sense, Jesus is our “brand,” for we are being conformed to His image (Rom. 8:29). We attract others to Christ when we put on His attributes, which include tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering (Col. 3:12), and, above all, love (v.14).
Instead of polishing and protecting our own image, we need to be guarding and reflecting the image of God, which is being perfected in us through Christ.

O to be like Thee! blessed Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear. —Chisholm

One of the Spirit’s roles is to form the likeness of Christ in us.

for previous editions visit our devotional page.

TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

APRIL 8, 2013

HOW TO EXPERIENCE GOD’S GRACE

‘Grace be unto you, and peace, from God…’

1 Corinthians 1:3 Several of Paul’s epistles open with the words, ‘Grace be unto you, and peace, from God.’ That’s because you cannot experience God’s peace unless you first know how to receive His grace and walk in it. There are three things about grace you need to understand: a) it cannot be earned; b) it is God doing for you what you cannot do for yourself; c) it doesn’t kick in until you stop struggling and trying to do it in your own strength. The Bible says, ‘…God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’ (James 4:6 NIV). The ‘humble’ are those who admit their total inability to succeed without God’s help, but the ‘proud’ are always trying to take the credit. They like to think it’s their ability that gets the job done, so they’ve difficulty asking God for grace, and even more difficulty receiving it. Peter writes, ‘Grow in grace…’ (2 Peter 3:18). You only learn to trust God—by doing it! You grow in grace by taking God at His Word, counting on His gracious provision for each day, and His intervention in situations that are difficult or impossible for you. There will never be a day when you don’t need God’s grace. And if you are willing to acknowledge you need it and receive it by faith, there will be no shortage of it. ‘For out of His fullness (abundance) we have all received [all had a share and we were all supplied with] one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing and even favour upon favour and gift [heaped] upon gift’ (John 1:16 AMP).

for previous editions visits our devotional page.

HMLIFE: Guard Your Marriage with Affair-Proof Hedges

What are hedges? Hedges are boundaries. In Mark 12:1 Jesus said, “A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it.” First, the man planted a vineyard. Think of your marriage as a vineyard. You “planted” it the day you said, “I do”. Next, the man in the parable placed a hedge around his vineyard. Why? Several reasons: to protect it from intrusion by animals and thieves; to keep his vines inside his vineyard; and to separate his territory from his neighbors.

A hedge makes the statement, “Private Property, No Trespassing.” The symbolic hedges around our marriages serve the same purposes. As a married couple, your goal as co-owners of your vineyard, is to keep the good things in—and the bad things out. These HEDGES consist of simple principles that will protect your marriage from external invaders and internal discontent. They are all action words:

Hearing: Listening and speaking with patience and understanding;
Encouraging: Helping each other in thought, word, and deed;
Dating: Keeping it fresh and fun. Build a life that celebrates marriage;
Guarding: Agreeing on your boundaries—and enforcing them;
Educating: Becoming an expert on your mate;
Satisfying:  Meeting each others needs.
Planting the Hedges:
Gardeners know that maintaining a hedge is an ongoing task. But first, you’ve got to plant the hedge. And any gardener will tell you that when planting something, one of the most important considerations is the condition of the soil. Assuming that Christ is the soil of your marriage, all the hedges, in order to grow to maturity, must be planted in Him. If you’re married to a non-Christian, your hedges and your hearts may be divided, creating conflict about the location of boundaries for your marriage as well as large gaps in those boundaries. You’ll need to be willing to find creative ways to maintain your Christian “soil” without discounting your mate’s needs.

Dafe Smith Snr

Relationship Coach

BUCKET WITH A HOLE

Hello y'all,

Have you ever tried being you and the thought "being me is not fashionable" runs through your mind or, you say to yourself “I don’t fit in with the happening clique"  so you try to be like them?

Well yes, that was the case for me. I didn’t want to be me at all. I didn’t see anything good about myself or my abilities.
I told myself “I could never make sense or be impactful. I never saw the good qualities I had within me.

There was a way I could talk and people would be impacted but I thought to myself "what’s so cool about that..........Nothing!!" I thought.

I tried to talk like them, be like them, act like them, but I couldn't sustain it.
The journey to being like another was tedious. It was difficult to keep up with, but I went on till I heard this story.
The story of a man who had two buckets, one bucket seemed perfect and the other one had a hole. Every day, he would take the buckets to the stream to get water.
Each day he went to the stream to get water, he would pass through the farmland to get home.
On this faithful day, the bucket with a hole became sad  that she had not been taking full bucket of water home for her master like the other bucket does.

The bucket kept on being sad till she summoned the courage to meet her master. She said to her master "Master, I am sorry for not giving you your desired result”. The master then took her by the hand to his farm and showed her the beautiful rose plants by the pathway, then he said to her,"there is no need to be sad, look at this beautiful flower, you made them grow.

The bucket looked stunned. She didn’t understand what the master had said.Then she closed her mouth, swallowed saliva then asked "how"?
Then the master explained "whenever we are returning from the stream, I purposely carried you on my right hand where the roses are planted and as we moved on daily, you watered those roses.

Hearing this story, I realized that by just being me, I could impact many lives, consciously and unconsciously. You can learn from the examples of others but you must filter what you learn through your personality because before God created you, He asked Himself “what your responsibility would be on earth? And then He shaped you for that task. Don’t be a copy, be an original. You are the way you are because you were shaped for a specific purpose: find it.

See what the Scriptures says in Psalms 139:13-16 (NIV)
 

¹³For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Celebrate YOU. You are unique, not an accident pal.

 Smith Mosunmola Olamide

LET'S TALK KIDS (LTK) ON INSPIRAREE

HERE ISSUES REGARDING RAISING GODLY CHILDREN, THE SITUATIONS THAT AFFECT THEM AND MUCH MORE ARE TREATED.

EVERY PARENT/GUARDIAN SHOULD WANT THE BEST FOR THEIR KIDS, SO LET'S TALK KIDS. VISIT THE PAGE.

OUR DAILY BREAD

START YOUR DAY RIGHT!!
READ, LISTEN, DOWNLOAD TO YOUR MOBILE DEVICE DAILY, OUR DAILY BREAD DEVOTIONAL (http://odb.org/) ON OUR DEVOTIONAL PAGE. 

MESSAGE FOR TODAY APRIL 7, 2013 IS TITLED: I L-O-V-E...

THE BEST RELATIONSHIP TO HAVE IS A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. 
GET THE WORD ON THE GO.. www.inspirare.blogspot.com

THE WORD FOR TODAY

START YOUR DAY RIGHT!!
READ DAILY, THE WORD FOR TODAY BY UCB (UNITED CHRISTIAN BROADCASTERS-http://www.ucb.co.uk/word-for-today.html) ON OUR DEVOTIONAL PAGE. 


MESSAGE FOR TODAY APRIL 7, 2013 IS TITLED: COVETOUSNESS (4)

GET THE WORD ON THE GO.. www.inspirare.blogspot.com

Jesus, Take The Wheel

"Jesus, Take the Wheel" is a song written by Brett James, Hillary Lindsey and Gordie Sampson. It is the second single from Carrie Underwood's debut album, Some Hearts.
 As you carry out your duties today, some that may seem unattainable, remember this, ".. My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness"-2Cor.12:9a.

I therefore urge you to hand over the wheels of your life to Jesus, there's a limit to where your strength can carry you. He is Dependable. I know for sure.

Enjoy the video!!

BE HAPPY!!

EASTER CELEBRATION IS OVER BUT THE EFFECT OF YOUR SACRIFICE LIVES ON IN US,LEAD US TO THE CROSS WHERE YOUR LOVE POURED OUT. ENJOY THIS SONG BY HILLSONG!!

OH HAPPY DAY!! SISTERS ACT

GREAT IMPACT 2013 (GI13) IN PICTURES

The just concluded All Believers Easter Camp meeting tagged GREAT IMPACT 2013 a.k.a. GI13 organized by the House Of Grace Church, was truly an outstanding event with awesome ministrations from great men and women of GOD. Expect more on this but for now, here it is in pictures for your viewing pleasure.

WE WIN!!

 

BREAKOUT SESSIONS

If you could not make it this year for whatever reason, start now to make plans for next year's event: can't wait!! You don't wanna miss anymore than you have already.

See You @ The Top: I'm Set To Impact My World Greatly.

HIT IT HARD!!